The Renaissance Man For The Modern Day

So I hear that women now a days want a guy who can cook, clean, fix cars, fix the house, re-do bathrooms, paint, tinker with gadgets, give great massages, decorate in a non-tacky manner, make anything out of duct tape, and pretty much solve any of the worlds problems with a paper clip. Well... I only know of 2 people who can possible fit those requirements with ease with enough swagger to do so with only 1 hand.

1- The Dos Equis man

2- MacGyver

Sooo... unless you're one of those 2 men in this sense, it's a good guess you're probably not Mr. Perfect.

That being said, it's not uncommon for today's modern man to take the little steps in life to be a bit more self sufficient and able to not rely on a woman to fill in with alot of the "traditional roles" that our better halves should fill. The past few years in my lil' circle of manly man hetero life partners... or bestfriends... or bff''s I've come to notice and see how many of us now cook very ornate meals or even decorate with a sense of style that would give the Fab 5 (the queer eye for the straight guy ppl) a run for their money. But one thing amongst the skills that was once dominated by mom and a few girlfriends of time past that I have found myself up in arms in and trying to take with a vengeance like the great Khan himself...

Sewing.

I had a few scrub pants that over time has worn through the stitching and some just very poorly made ( go fig. for bargain scrubs eh?)and figured instead of buying new ones, why not just fix them? Shouldn't be THAT hard right? In the past I've hand sewn things together but never via machine, so I opted to try that route since $3 spool of thread vs. $10-30 a pair of scrub pants each to replace them didn't sound that enticing. So like many experiments in life before we partake on an unknown path we do research. Out of the 20 or so women I talked to at work... only 1 knew how to use a sewing machine. (-.-) fail. So that option quickly being shoved out the door I turned to a woman who has never failed me in questions like this. Mom :)

So after a quick and simple instruction session...which I failed to listen to properly, I read the instructions and figured out how to use the newly found tool in my arsenal of toys of creation. With that said I successfully repaired my scrubs and saved me x amount of dollars... as well as made a few pillowcases as well while practicing and figuring out how this dam thing works.

Next project that I want to cross off my list before the end of September, a good pair of homemade scrub pants and 3/4 pants for men (both from scratch). Will keep ya posted as projects progress. Who knows, maybe I could be the next in line of the famous heterosexual clothes designers =P

- Calvin Klein

- Oscar de la Renta

- Christian Lacroix

- Roberto Cavalli

- Salvatore Ferragamo

- Marc Ecko

- P.Diddy

- Max Azria (bcbgmaxazria)

- Hermes

... me? :D

Caw- Fay Jitters.

I stopped this morning in the kitchen doing something I have never done in my life. It's a stepping stone towards a new phase in life per se' and even a memorable moment from this day forth. -insert dramatic music-

I... made... coffee.

To clear things up, I have made coffee before. Might even say all my life, due to the fact that I used 2 make coffee for my dad as a kid on the weekends, fishing trips, and when I got older when we got off work and had breakfast. Come to think of it, I may have been taught to do so because we didn't have a fancy timed coffee machine... pwnd.

But anywho, I never drank coffee on a regular basis until this past weekend. Though 3 days in a row doesn't really count as a "regular basis," I may have to let you know I rarely drink coffee. Unless I was studying for a test, sitting at IHOP with my boys late at night, or enjoying a nice cigar with a friend and no liquor was available, that bitter tasting bean drink never touched my lips. Also I felt that Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and any other franchise coffee house was a sham and the anti- Christ for what they charged. For the price of coffee, cream, a dab of caramel, and some whipped cream... I could get a decent sized crack rock for the same price of 5 or so dollars. Or so I've heard...hehe. Please note I am not telling you do crack instead of drinking coffee.

So this weekend while grocery shopping I was lured by the smell of HEB's coffee bar. I love the smell of the beans, but the taste of the actual drink... eh. I was randomly sniffing away at the robust aroma walking with my cousin, when from the corner of my eye I saw an all familiar name of something I love. ALMOND JOY 030!!!

Now, I've had those candy inspired coffee flavors before, but this... this stuff is more addictive than crack. ( if you're thinking I know alot about crack, I don't do crack... its just an expression.)

Now I have come into 3 dilemma's I need to solve...

1- what will the increased amount of caffeine do to me.

2- i need a new coffee maker with a timer

3- where do i get a cool looking coffee tumbler I see alot of ppl using at work. D:

...fuck you process of social conformation. fuck you.

Weekend Wine #1

So something that I like to enjoy in life is a nice glass of wine. Yes. Wine. And no I'm not that one guy in the club with a group of dudes being the only one with a glass of wine in a sea of beer bottles and tall glasses of mixed spirits. I'd have to credit my love for wine for those times when I was still in my early teen's and the only readily attainable form of a cheap quick buzz without getting caught was either the wine my parents had or huffing paint. I dont like paint. From then on I guess I could say that wine was the girlfriend you didn't want to introduce to your friends while growing up since at that time it was all about keggers and El Presidente'. It wasn't til I got older I could actually be more oOoOo about wine since for some odd reason... it's in style?!?

Anywho from coast to coast to the smallest restaurants all the way to the swankiest steak houses. From the shores of Barcelona to the top of the Space needle, when I get a chance I try to savor the moment with a nice glass of wine. No homo.

But I digress, I've decided to try to do a wine of the week segment on my blog. One thing I love hearing about from my female friends is how a guy can't appreciate a good wine or how at a nice steak house they throw a fit when Bud nor Miller isn't on the list of beverages to pair with their choice cut of beef seared to perfection.

SO ON TO THE REVIEW!

Ste. Genevieve Sweet Red @ Wal-Mart for $3.97
Now, I know theres alot of people out there who aren't fans of the bitter full bodied taste of red's cause in their mind it's just... eww. Not knocking you if you're that person, wine will always be an aquired taste for many which would limit you to trying to explore different types. This wine was introduced to us by a random man in the aisle's describing it as "...mah waife luvs dat stuff." So my cousin and I say to ourselves... why the fuck not? it's only a $4 investment... we can chuck it if we dont like it. After taking one sip, I can see why that strangers wife would go nuts over it. It's literally a sweet red. The sweetness is something I could compare to a nice mascato or a very nice alcoholic Kool-Aide (^w^). Yummy. It's not a wine I would suggest to traditional hardcore wine drinkers, but for a quick fix with kick I'd say it's $4 well spent. From chilling on the couch to a evening under the stars at a patio party, I'd vote this wine as something almost everyone could enjoy socially. I enjoyed it greatly with whole grain wheat crackers and sharp chedder... or Lance's Wheat Crackers w/ Real Chedder :P . So there's one more thing we forgot at the grocery store, sue me.

Next weekend that wine on the right. :D

GTL?... GTFO :D

GTL :
The process of staying fresh and mint. Stands for "Gym, tan, laundry." Must be done everyday to achieve maximum potential. Side effects include fist pumping. Coined by the eloquent Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino from MTV's ground breaking Jersey Shore.
You gotta GTL everyday to make sure you're looking your best bro. If your shirt looks bad it makes the whole product look bad -urbandictionary.com

I know at time's I've become out of touch with t.v.'s "hottest shows" (hell i jus saw my first episode of "Glee" a few weeks ago... twas' awesome), but really I think there's a big lack in the amount of "quality" t.v. shows to watch now a days. But that's prolly just me. Now I will admit I am a fan of shows/channels like Family Guy, Robot Chicken, Mythbusters, and pretty much anything on the DIY, History, and Foodnetwork channel, but one channel I avoid like a belligerent drunk at a party or club is MTV.

The MTV of 10-12 years to go is nothing in comparison of the MTV of today. They actually played more music ON mtv than t.v. shows. But I digress, money makes the world go round right? And at the cost of chasing that paper trail it' seems the quality of t.v. on one of my once favorite channels has gone from the shit to just... shit. No offense, to those who like this kind of programing, but really... lets stay friends and not argue for the sake of staying civil about how great they are. Which brings me to my point.

How did I find out about Jersey Shore? A friend told me about it and what it was about... meh... i brushed it off. How did I find out about the saying GTL? When some oompaloompa colored guido fuck was bragging about how much he GTL's and how "pimp" it is to do so while I was at the gym. I know its one thing to emulate things we see on t.v. at times for trends, catch phrases, and what ever else you may cause hey... it worked for them, WHY THE HELL NOT FOR US right? I could understand that for a few shows like the channels I listed above but from Jersy Shore?

Really? Gyming, tanning, and of all things in the world LAUNDRY is the key to success in business, life, and sex? It's one thing to poke fun at it but it's another to take the words in to heart as if it were the bible.

To those who GTL whole heartedly...

...GTFO :D




that stands for get the fuck out for those who dunno that :)

...shopper cards.

The other day I found myself standing in line waiting at the grocery store for what felt like hours. While I had to wait for all eternity for someone trying to get a price check on a piece of freaking fruit, my eyes wander scoping my surroundings. So my eyes become fixated on this one woman in front of me who was bent over her shopping cart reading one of the tabloids. As my eyes moved from her... assets... they shifted over to her hip as her keys jangled. I looked the decorative baubles on her key ring, and I noticed her "shopper cards."

You know those shopper cards that you get for free perks in various stores that they always ask you ... " do you have a __insert company name__ card?" And we tend to at a lot of times just say "no" and wonder what difference it would really make? Well one of the things I've learned in the adventures of shopping "smart" is that those cards are awesome. Not just because I save 10% or that once 5.99 pack of water is now 4.99, but the fact that it's a great "in" on the starting of a conversation with a complete stranger. In addition its nice to somewhat see the shopping habits of a person, which at times is a direct reflection of the person at hand. Of course there's variables to that possibility, but none the less it's an innocent conversation starter. Now I'm not talking about those Kroger, Randalls, and CVS cards... those are to common to decipher anything at times. What I'm talking about are cards to specialty stores like to pet stores, movie rental places (if ppl still use those), and other specialty places.

So going on with my story, a simple "excuse me..." and asking " hi I was just wondering what kind of perks does that __[insert card name]___ give you...." and bam instant inline conversation... that lasted for about 30 or so mins due to the slowest checkout lady in the world.



So what could you tell from my shopper card ring?

Simple, I like tools (ace), work on cars (autozone), and I'm an alcoholic :D (do i have to point that out?)

p.s. if you need an oil/brake/or anything from autozone tell me PLS. Use my shopper card and i will do or help with your stuff... They has awesome rewards~ :D

Also I would like to thank Tawn from http://www.chickenandketchup.com/ for giving me the tips and inspiration to start thots of MANology (dam you and your book <3)>

def gotta check her blog out... tis awesome :)